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Albert Fish’s Recipe From Hell

by Hamilton Howard “Albert” Fish

4 lbs. Ass meat
4 Onions
6 strips Bacon
1 pt. Water

1. Split the cheeks of his behind open.
2. Cut off his monkey and pee wees, washing them first.
3. Put all in roasting pan, light the gas in the oven.
4. Put strips of bacon on each cheek of his behind placing in oven for 15 minutes.
5. Pour 1 pint of water over for gravy.
6. Put in the onions.
7. At frequent intervals, basting his behind with a wooden spoon.
8. In about 2 hr, it should be nice and brown, cooked thru.

Make a stew out of his ears, nose, pieces of his face and belly. Put in onions, carrots, turnips, celery, and salt and pepper to taste.

Cook’s Note: You will never eat any roast turkey that tastes half as good as a sweet fat little behind. Eat every bit of the meat in less than four days. His little monkey will be as sweet as a nut, but his pee wees are not chewable (throw into a toilet).

[Editor’s Note: Do not attempt to make this recipe. This is merely a satire on the infamous “Letter From Hell” Albert Fish wrote to Mrs. Budd after eating her daughter. Bon Appétit]

Published on: May 19, 2015 @ 12:11

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