Intellectually I had a difficult time rationalizing the concept of a God, but the stories in the Holy Bible and its spiritual philosophies always drew me back to the Bible, time and time again. Even as a young Catholic, when I read the Bible, I would question what I read. Did Jesus marry Mary Magdalene at the marriage at Cana? Is it possible that Jesus was stolen from the tomb in the dark of the night? Was Judas a faithful follower of Jesus by doing what he must do quickly? If Judas had not betrayed Jesus to the Sanhedrin, there would be no death on the cross, there would be no Resurrection, then therefore Judas must be seen as a Saint. All of these thoughts I had long before The DaVinci Code and the recently discovered Gospel of Judas brought them to the mainstream’s attention.
I feel that my ability to question the Word of God is the greatest asset to Ophelia Twat.com. Because of the pure joy I feel when I find the blasphemy in each and every verse of the Holy Bible, I feel that I am one of the few capable of writing this Study Bible. Would my theology be found sound by a seminary? Probably not. But maybe, the priests in seminary would surprise themselves by finding the Good News in my blasphemy.
As I journeyed through the rediscovery my faith in God and His Only Begotten Son, Jesus the Christ, my faith was then immediately put to the test. The most persistent hallucination I continue to be plagued with to this day, is the voice of the Devil himself encouraging me, not to murder in his name or even worship him, but to write a Study Bible from his infernal point-of-view. Satan mocks me with the evidence that I spent most of my adult life questioning the Gospel of Jesus and finding doubt with the Word of God as an Atheist, so I should do what I was destined to do. Why should I not then continue to find blasphemies verse-by-verse? Why should I not write Satan’s Study Bible?
Aleister Crowley, the self-proclaimed “Great Beast” and ceremonial charlatan, described a remarkably similar experience in his The Equinox of the Gods. It is an experience that I have encountered repeatedly and continuously during the writing of Satan’s Study Bible. This eloquent description captures the experience of hearing the voice of the Devil so beautifully and poetically:
“The Voice of Aiwass came apparently from over my left shoulder, from the furthest corner of the room. It seemed to echo itself in my physical heart in a very strange manner, hard to describe. I have noticed a similar phenomenon when I have been waiting for a message fraught with great hope or dread. The voice was passionately poured, as if Aiwass were alert about the time- limit … The voice was of deep timbre, musical and expressive, its tones solemn, voluptuous, tender, fierce or aught else as suited the moods of the message. Not bass – perhaps a rich tenor or baritone. The English was free of either native or foreign accent, perfectly pure of local or caste mannerisms, thus startling and even uncanny at first hearing. I had a strong impression that the speaker was actually in the corner where he seemed to be, in a body of ‘fine matter,’ transparent as a veil of gauze, or a cloud of incense-smoke. He seemed to be a tall, dark man in his thirties, well-knit, active and strong, with the face of a savage king, and eyes veiled lest their gaze should destroy what they saw. The dress was not Arab; it suggested Assyria or Persia, but very vaguely. I took little note of it, for to me at that time Aiwass was an ‘angel’ such as I had often seen in visions, a being purely astral.”
I, of course, dismiss all of my experiences as nothing more than a newly “born-again” Christian and paranoid schizophrenic’s rather imaginative hallucinations. Yet, I continue to hear the voice of Satan, I see visions, I dream dreams. All this I try to dismiss as hallucinations. It troubles me to no end. I have to suffer this torment in silence. Why is Satan tormenting me, trying to drive me to write blasphemy?
To be concluded on the next page.