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Donald Trump: America Needs a Homicidal President

The 20th Century was mired with homicidal leaders. Adolf Hitler committed genocide with factory efficiency. He inspired dozens of megalomaniacal dictators, who more or less, took their innate homicidal tendencies and raised them to the level of mother-fucking genocide: Joseph Stalin, Mao Zedong, Kim Jong-il, Bashar al-Assad, Pol Pot, Saddam Hussein, Sheikh Hasina. Each took on the mantel of “benevolent” dictator and each busted their ass to earn their way into the Guinness Book of World (Goddamn) Records by increasing the death toll exponentially. Who would go down in history as the most homicidal president?

“The death of one man is a tragedy; the death of millions is a statistic” – Joseph Stalin

The answer to this question will be decided over the course of two weeks, in early February 2016, by Republican voters of the Iowa and New Hampshire Caucuses. While there is a strange, nearly endless cacophony of GOP Presidential candidates, only one has the potential to go down in history as the most homicidal president in human history. Jeb Bush? Ben Carson? Chris Christie? Ted Cruz? Carly Fiorina? Lindsey Graham? Mike Huckabee? Bobby Jindal? John Kasich? George Pataki? Rand Paul? Rick Perry? Macro Rubio? Rick Santorum? Donald Trump?

Ding-ding-ding! We have a winner!

But I am not here to be a Democratic doomsayer. I wantI needs- Donald Trump to be the 45th President of the United States of Fucking America. I fully intend to vote for the Donald if he is still a GOP candidate when my state holds its primary.

Why? Am I voting based on his immigration policies? No. Am I voting based on his prowess as an entrepreneur? Certainly not. My vote in based purely on my own personal nihilism. I cream my panties with the thought of Donald Trump being the President of the United States of America, with his unfettered ego as his own Vice-President. And you imagine this man with the power to wage international war as easily as he wages a business takeover? Oh, God, I’m getting wet.

Again, why? Remember, every major civilization, since the dawn of civilization itself, has had a truly homicidal leader. Egypt had Rameses II. Babylon had Nebuchadnezzar II. Greece had Alexander. Israel had David. The Roman Empire had… well, all of them. Britain had Mary I, Richard III, and Henry VIII. France had Louis XVIII and Napoleon Bonaparte. Russia had Ivan the Terrible and Nicholas II. Germany had Adolf Hiter. Etc. ad nauseum. The worst America has to offer is Andrew Jackson and his Trail of Tears. (Don’t forget Richard Nixon– editor).

Democrats put the deaths of thousands of American soldiers, as a noose, around the neck of George W. Bush. President Bush was not homicidal; he was moronic. He let his emotions get the better of him, but there is no true malice behind his removal of Saddam Hussein from power. It was nothing more than petty.

But I’m all a-flutter over the potential Donald Trump has to not only plunge the United States into ignominy, but truly ruin America’s reputation on the world stage for decades- nay centuries. Republicans believe that liberals are insuring the destruction of a “traditional” America by embracing homosexuals and illegal immigrants, criminalizing Christianity, and all the while threatening to take away our guns. But whennot if– Donald Trump becomes the 45th President of these United States of Fucking America, America will be remembered by history in the same breath as Nazi Germany, the Soviet Union, and the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.

And may God bless the United States of America!


Published on: Jul 27, 2015 @ 15:21

About Ophelia T'Wat

Who in the flying blue fuck is Ophelia T'Wat? Poetic or profane? Asshole or bitch? Democramp or Republicunt? God-fearing or God-damning? Sucks dicks or licks cunts?- crunch- Three! The world may never know.

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