The following Revulsional is what inspired me to write a short- very fucking short- play where Moses instructs the Ancient Israelites, None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their nakedness: I am the Lord. But Moses does not stop there. In the remaining verses of chapter 18 of Leviticus, he goes into excruciating and erotic detail about who one can and cannot fuck. When reading this scripture for Satan’s Study Bible: The Gospel of Mark, I could not help be see the scene playing out in my perverted head. It was as if there was one randy old Jew in the crowd, who kept coming back to Moses with a Goddamn loophole for every new sexual prohibition. “Surely I can fuck this person or that person, and if I can’t fuck these people, surely I can fuck these other people.” If one was going to imagine this little play was written by someone in history, there is only one choice for its authorship: the Marquis de Sade. No one in history (until me that is) has enjoyed fucking with the beliefs and morals of his audience with such delight, irreverence, and pornography.
When Moses went up to the mount of Sinai to receive the infamous and reviled Ten Commandments, he abandoned the wanton and gullible Israelites for the perquisite forty day and forty nights. Left to their own devices, the Ancient Israelites descended into a drunken orgy of idolatry, demanding of Aaron, Up, make us gods, which shall go before us; for as for this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we wot not what is become of him. And they sacrificed their golden earrings so that a molten calf could be forged and through the act of idolatry so that the “god” they so sought would reside in the idol. Moses, after communing with the One True God, had received Ten Commandment which would be the foundation of Western Law and be a symbol to be placed on every courthouse in the United States of the America (if it weren’t for that cursed “separation of Church and State”).
This is the Israel that Moses had inherited. They were given the greatest gift the world had ever known in the Ten Commandments and through Moses, God would instruct the Israelites in 603 additional laws, known as the Mitvot. But did the now faithful and loyal Israelites except the Law of Moses without question? To modern Christians, the answer is most assuredly a “yes”. The faithful need to accept the Law of Moses without question. Yet, 21st Century Christians pick and choose which Losiac Laws to observe and which to dismiss outright. Rick Warren evangelizes on the importance of keeping the law, or the lack therefore, during an interview with CNN’s Piers Morgan,
This is a very common misunderstanding on the laws of scripture, Piers. There aren’t — there aren’t just one set of laws in scripture. There are actually three sets of laws and they are not equally binding. Many people think every law in the Bible is the exact same kind of law. In the Bible, there are three kinds of laws. There are civil laws, which by the way apply only to the nation of Israel. Those are called civil laws. There are ceremonial laws which are the laws that apply to cleanliness as kosher Jews would practice today, in the laws of Leviticus, the priestly laws that are ceremonial laws that involve worship, and then there are moral laws. As a Christian, I’m not bound by the civil laws given to the nation of Israel, and I’m not even bound by the ceremonial laws given to the priesthood of Israel. I am bound, I believe, to the moral laws. The ‘Ten Commandments’ are neither civil laws nor ceremonial. Those are moral laws. They were the ones chiseled in stone. And so when people make this — it’s a very common argument. Yes, but what about this law and what about this law. Well, granted, OK, that was that law for that point in time, and I’m under no obligation to do that. But when a law says, for instance, you will always tell the truth, you may not lie, sorry, that doesn’t matter how times change.
So when exactly did this questioning which Laws given by God should be obeyed and which Laws should be outrightly dimissed began? The answer can be found when Moses told the ancient Israelites why should not commit incest. Did some of the horniest of the incestuous Ancient Israelites, like good Jews, attempt to find loopholes in Moses’ Law, Mayest I fuck my father’s wife, whom is not my own mother? or Mayest I fuck my sister, the daughter of my father, or daughter of my mother, whether she be born at home or born abroad? Were Hebrews such wanton sexual perverts that God, through Moses, had to write such specificity into Leviticus chapters eighteen and twenty? Was the reading of these Biblical verses the ancient Israelite equivalent to stealing Dad’s Playboy magazine for a quick wank? Satan had to close PornHub, because these chapters gave him such a rock-hard erection and spurred the most salacious of masturbatory fantasies. Nowhere on even the most perverted of pornographic websites have I been able to find perversions that even approach what is found in Leviticus 18. Even Satan never knew humans sought such carnal pleasures, but God surely did, because he had to instruct Moses to write these chapters in Leviticus.
Satan must, therefore, admit that if homosexuality is spoken on the same breath of God as the rest of these perversions, then maybe Christians have a point. Satan agreeing with Christians? Fucking Hell!