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The Onion and Ophelia T’Wat.com: Juvenal or Juvenalian?!?

The Onion is a marvel of political satire. How many Onion articles are shared on Facebook newsfeeds and unsuspecting friends believe, truly believe the articles are real. And they lose their ever-loving shit.

[List compiled by the Huffington Post]

As evidenced by those fooled by the above satirical news articles, not only are people on their Facebook fooled, but politicians and journalists do not seem to always realize The Onion is writing satire. Brilliantly realized satire that can convince well-educated people into believing the stories are truthful and unbiased journalism. And they lose their ever-loving shit.

But not all lost their shit. Some believed their own personally held and absurd biases and beliefs were actually being supported by a national newsmagazine. These unfortunate, ignorant fucks were forced to eat crow through their shit-eating grins when commentators noted The Onion is a satirical newsmagazine. Only then did they lose their ever-loving shit.

This is not just a modern phenomenon! In 1729, Jonathan Swift, the author of Gulliver’s Travels, wrote a pamphlet he wisely published anonymously. It was called, A Modest Proposal for Preventing the Children of Poor People From Being a Burthen to Their Parents or Country, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Publick. In this pamphlet, Swift, encourages the Irish to sell their children as wholesome food for the wealthier more aristocratic gentry in order to alleviate their own economic burdens. He advices, “A young healthy child well nursed, is, at a year old, a most delicious nourishing and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee, or a ragout.” And the British Empire lost their ever-loving shit.

While OpheliaTWat.com is still technically a satirical newsmagazine, we will not be making shit up. The Onion has cornered the market for making shit up, polishing that turd until it shines like a diamond, and then convincing people to purchase the diamond turd. Like The Onion, we will be commenting on the news, on society, on the government, on religion, on celebrity, etc. But we substitute profanity and egotism for fictitiousness.

Our satire at Ophelia Twat.com is of the more Juvenalian satirical school of A Modest Proposal. This particular school is defined as “any bitter and ironic criticism of contemporary person and institutions that is filled with personal invective, angry moral indignation, and pessimism.” How many of the readers of Swift’s pamphlet mistook his words as serious policy? This is the power of Juvenalian satire we are embracing at OpheliaTWat.com.

Unlike The Onion, are taking more of a traditionally editorial slant to our criticisms. We do not report the news, nor do we write fictional (albeit brilliantly satirical) “news”. We only write our opinions as any reputable editorial column does. But heed the immortal words of Harry Callahan, “Well, opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one.”

Before we leave, the following question must be asked: While we may not be making shit up, do we believe our own bullshit?

Hmm….

Published on: May 26, 2015 @ 21:50

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