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“They Knew!” Who Knew? “The Pakistanis Knew.” Who Fucking Cares?

The President of the United States of America has been caught with their pecker in the whorehouse (or however the idiom goes). President Obama apparently lied about how his government got the intelligence concerning Osama Bin Laden’s whereabouts in Pakistan (if you can call anything relating the government “intelligent”). The U.S. government lied. Pakistan lied about whether or not they knew that mother-fucker was hiding in pain fucking sight within pissing distance of a military base. Governments lied about shit. Oh, the fucking horror! The fucking horror!

Seymour M. Hersh begins slut-shamming President Obama in a London Review of Books article, “The White House still maintains that the mission [to kill Osama bin Laden] was an all-American affair, and that the senior generals of Pakistan’s army and Inter-Services Intelligence agency (ISI) were not told of the raid in advance. … The most blatant lie was that Pakistan’s two most senior military leaders – General Ashfaq Parvez Kayani, chief of the army staff, and General Ahmed Shuja Pasha, director general of the ISI – were never informed of the US mission.” This is of course, just the beginning of the conspiracy that rambles on for 10,356 words.

First, let me state- rather emphatically- “I abso-fucking-lutely love conspiracy theories!” Gore Vidal once opined, “Americans have been trained by media to go into Pavolovian giggles at the mention of ‘conspiracy’ because for an American to believe in a conspiracy he must also believe in flying saucers or, craziest of all, that more than one person was involved in the JFK murder.” I don’t actually give a flying fuck who assassinated President Kennedy. Most of the conspirators, who were or were not part of the assassin, are either doddering old men or dead as fucking coffin nails, the “deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade.” The truth would be amusing for a day or a week, then the American people will return their attention to the dancing of b-list stars. Why should I believe in little gray-fuckers who are technologically advanced enough to survive travel over vast interstellar distances, but can’t navigate a God-damn thunderstorm without crashing into the mother-fucking New Mexico desert? As for these little gray-fuckers, proof of their existence would only prove amusing for atheists, who will watch with shit-eating grins as religions fall into superstitious obscurity.

So, why do I “abso-fucking-lutely love conspiracy theories” if I don’t’ really give a shit about their validity? Well… why let the truth stand in the way of a damn good conspiracy!

Besides. Even when the “truth” is exposed, the government isn’t going to let something like the “truth” stand in the way of the “truth” of their story. They are only going to dig their heels in deeper.

Of the White House’s story, Hersh says, “[It] might have been written by Lewis Carroll: would bin Laden, target of a massive international manhunt, really decide that a resort town forty miles from Islamabad would be the safest place to live and command al-Qaida’s operations? He was hiding in the open. So America said.” Oh, shit…

About Ophelia T'Wat

Who in the flying blue fuck is Ophelia T'Wat? Poetic or profane? Asshole or bitch? Democramp or Republicunt? God-fearing or God-damning? Sucks dicks or licks cunts?- crunch- Three! The world may never know.

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