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NSA: Guilty of Revenge-Porn

revenge porn

a nude photograph or video which is publicly shared online (most frequently by an ex-lover of the subject’s) for the purpose of spiteful humiliation and/or the lulz.

 

In the immortal words of Lord Byron, “Truth is stranger than fiction.” If there is a single television series that makes the most paranoid of schizophrenics shit their britches, it is CBS’ obsessively addictive Person of Interest. Its opening proem ominously warns, “You are being watched. The government has a secret system, a machine that spies on you every hour of every day.” Little did creator Jonathan Nolan know that within a few short years, the entire nation would awaken in a world where this once science-fictional show would be science-reality.  This is all thanks to Edward Snowden, who released classified information from the National Security Agency that detailed numerous extensive “global surveillance programs”.

Holy shit, Batman!

To most Americans, Edward is at worst a traitor and at best a mother-fucking “snitch”. And remember bitches, “snitches get stitches.”

But Edward Snowden’s crime is not treason.  If he had sold the classified information he stole from the National Security Agency to the Russians or the Chinese or the North Koreans, that would undeniably be treason. And I’d be the first to hang him by his balls. But he did not sell the information to foreign countries. He gave the information to the American people freely. Mother-fucker! How dare this little shit inform the blind and stupid American populous they were being illegally spied on by their government?

Women have been and continue to be horrified when their ex-boyfriends upload their amateur pornographic photos and videos to “revenge porn” sites, being slut-shamed by their ex-lovers, and black-mailed by unscrupulous website operators into paying to remove all evidence of their fucking and sucking from the prying eyes of family, friends, and coworkers.

Do you want the government to know intimate details of your sexting? Or the fact that first category you click on PornHub is the gay one? Or about those selfies you took in the bathroom mirror wearing your wife’s unmentionables? Let us a spade a spade. The NSA was the political equivalent of “revenge porn”. And we wouldn’t have any idea we were betrayed if he wasn’t for the brave work of Edward Snowden.

We would be ignorant cunts if we did not mention that Army General Martin Dempsey, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, told the House Armed Services Committee, “The vast majority of the documents that Snowden … exfiltrated from our highest levels of security … had nothing to do with exposing government oversight of domestic activities. The vast majority of those were related to our military capabilities, operations, tactics, techniques and procedures.”

“Et tu, Brute?”

And now has balls the size of wrecking balls to come out as admit that Snoweden performed a “public service”, but… Mother-fucking BUT… still needs to punished? I’m surprised Holder hasn’t slithered into dominatrix leather and FedExed Snoweden a Gimp suit, because this is what this feels like… a dominance and submission session. And somebody still needs to lick the toilet bowl clean.

 

About Ophelia T'Wat

Who in the flying blue fuck is Ophelia T'Wat? Poetic or profane? Asshole or bitch? Democramp or Republicunt? God-fearing or God-damning? Sucks dicks or licks cunts?- crunch- Three! The world may never know.

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